In 2011, John was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a condition for which there is no cure and Jim cared for him at every stage of his illness.

"Even Jim Obergefell's husband's death certificate will not reflect the fact that he was married or the name of his husband," Hallward-Driemeier said.

Obergefell says he’s expecting good news when the court announces its ruling later this month. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for the LGBT community, and it’s really an honor to have become part of that fight.”. We’re focused on advocacy and education more than legislation. Text us for exclusive photos and videos, royal news, and way more. “We started this fight for each other and I’ve completed it for him and for our marriage.”. Guinigundo: Five years ago I was in a very different place in my life. Despite bipartisan support, the bill hasn’t made it to the House floor for three straight years. If someone wants to stand in line to wait to talk with me, I couldn’t live with myself if I walked away. I’ll be attending the University of North Carolina at Charlotte to study biology on a pre-med track. Copyright 2020 SLM Media Group. I’ve never once regretted it.

Because Ohio at the time didn’t allow same-sex unions, the couple flew to Maryland to exchange vows. I only got to know John for a few months, but I am so clear that he’s proud of Jim for how Jim carried on after his death. Obergefell, who stopped in St. Louis on a five-city tour organized by the Human Rights Campaign, says he and Arthur never encountered workplace discrimination, housing discrimination, or violent homophobia during their two decades together. The lead plaintiff, whose marriage to longtime partner John Arthur was not recognized by their home state of Ohio before Arthur died of ALS, was in line early for the court’s last four decision days in order to guarantee himself a seat. So I’ve always thought that when people are being homophobic, racist, sexist, and generally disrespectful, it truly comes from a place of misinformation. Jim Obergefell (CECH, ’90) and his late husband, John Arthur, (Bus, ‘88) met at UC. Since I want to go into the medical field, it’s important to me that people have adequate knowledge about how to take care of their bodies and stay healthy. Together they filed suit to try to force their home state of Ohio, where gay marriage was previously not legal, to recognize their out-of-state union.

Seeing the Supreme Court uphold the rights of LGBTQ people brought me hope and brought me one step closer to coming out to myself and to the world. this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. But it was simply the right thing to do.

Obergefell asked a jeweler, a high-school friend of his late husband, John Arthur, to fuse their two bands together, with a channel carved inside to hold some of Arthur’s ashes.

We don’t have inclusive sex ed in any way. There’s a lot of talk in the LGBTQ community about the “chosen family,” the people you find who are like you and who feel like home.

Their love story would go all the way to the Supreme Court and make same-sex … Teeters: Five years ago, I was still in a state of denial. Gerhardstein: One of the big issues we were litigating with Jim’s case was whether this decision should be in the courts at all.

“When I found myself not rushing here, there, and everywhere, the grief started to hit, and the loss started to hit,” Obergefell said this week.

Two rings, in fact. Al Gerhardstein, 68: I have been working on gay rights issues since the late 1970s. Friday will mark five years since the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark Obergefell v. Hodges decision, in favor of nationwide marriage equality. The couple married in a minutes-long ceremony aboard a small plane on the Baltimore-Washington International Airport tarmac, so Arthur could have access to the medical equipment that he needed to treat his amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS. Kathy Laufman, a 25-year volunteer with GLSEN, rounded out the conversation. “Your leadership on this, you know, has changed the country. Teeters: The importance of civil rights is definitely on the back burner of much of America’s mind. The right to be named as the husband on his spouse’s death certificate is what spurred Cincinnati resident Jim Obergefell to take his case all the way to the Supreme Court. And a lot of times that attitude can be altered if you have a one-on-one conversation with them and create a relationship with them. Laufman: These young people and others are taking their fight to the schools, too. Jim Obergefell, left, and John Arthur Friday will mark five years since the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark Obergefell v. Hodges decision, in favor of nationwide marriage equality. In fact, I was terrified of it. Missouri’s state laws (like Ohio’s) don’t protect from housing or employment discrimination. 314-918-3000. Of course, with Jim and John they were also working from a strong loving relationship. The experience has been overwhelmingly positive. When we do talk about LGBTQ struggles in class, we often refer to them as “others” and the teacher will say, LGBTQ are fighting for this and that—but you’re talking about me, and I’m in the room.

Spitzig: The legal issues are important to me and my peers because a lot of us feel that if there isn’t legal protection, then no matter how progressive your environment is or your school is you’re not truly protected.

“His approach to life was always, ‘I’m alive and breathing, so let’s have champagne!’ ”, In an open letter Friday, Obergefell laments the fact that his husband isn’t here to celebrate the milestone ruling with him, but he rejoices in America’s “step toward the promise of equality enshrined in our Constitution.”, “John and I started our fight for a simple reason,” he explains in the letter.

Teeters: My family taught me that there aren’t bad people, there are just bad decisions. After Arthur’s death, a jeweler friend fused together the couple’s wedding bands for Obergefell, carving out a channel that now holds some of his late husband’s ashes. But people of color, the disabled community, immigrants and undocumented people, and LGBTQ people are still very much in the throes of fighting for civil rights. They’re especially visible at school board meetings asking for student’s rights and safe spaces for their children. I’ve been a co-president of my high school’s GSA, which we call Mariemont Pride+, for four years. But as the focus has shifted to other minority groups, he’s had time to learn that, contrary to the self-help books, grief does not come in clean stages. When I look at life today for 18-year-olds versus when I was 18, yes, life is vastly different. After the couple returned to their Over-the-Rhine home, Obergefell sued the state of Ohio, asking to be listed as spouse on Arthur’s death certificate. P.O. “It was a comfort to play with my ring in the courtroom and think about John.”. Photograph courtesy of Jim Obergefell. That’s just not a good way to prepare young people for life. No married couple who moves will suddenly become two single persons because their new state ignores their lawful marriage.”, “I can finally relax knowing that Ohio can never erase our marriage from John’s death certificate, and my husband can now truly rest in peace.”, • With reporting by SANDRA SOBIERAJ WESTFALL.

The disease claimed his life three months later. Jim Obergefell Is Still on the Right Side of History, local chapter of the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, A Hyde Park Home Packed With Play and Entertaining Spaces. “I thought I’d worked through a lot of it but when you don’t have those other things to keep you busy, you realize you’re still grieving.” … In July 2013, Obergefell married his longtime partner in love, John Arthur, who was gravely ill with Lou Gehrig’s disease. We aren’t allowed to have a Gay/Straight Alliance, for instance. Even though I was 13, it was comforting to know that I had the right to get married like anyone else would. We’re far from done. Two rings, in fact. Obergefell: Back in 2015, there was certainly a feeling of victory. Jim Obergefell got a few hours of sleep Tuesday. I never really felt it, because my experience in the legal system opened my eyes to the reality that there was still so much risk to people. U.S. Before today’s decision, Obergefell, 48, had been lining up outside the Supreme Court nearly every day to ensure he would be there, front and center, when the court ruled on whether gay couples had the constitutional right to wed. “I look at it as another commitment that I made to John,” he recently told PEOPLE. “John is with me every day.”. But the grieving widower also carried something much dearer to his heart: his beloved husband’s ashes. There’s no big moment in this struggle like we had with the Supreme Court ruling, so I’m often wondering how to better raise awareness. If there isn’t legal protection, then no matter how progressive your environment is or your school is you’re not truly protected. For many Americans, the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize gay marriage nationwide is political, historic. Obergefell: People ask me all the time if I was overwhelmed with negative feedback and people coming at me in public during the lawsuit period, but it didn’t happen. It’s shocking to me that it’s been tolerated to the level it’s been.

St. Louis, MO 63119 It was pretty lopsided against us for a long time.

All rights reserved. I’ll be attending Ohio State in the fall to major in women’s, gender, and sexuality studies. I knew I was queer, but I was not out. I’m planning to attend the University of Cincinnati in the fall for fine arts. I couldn’t be prouder of you and your husband.”, “It’s really been an honor for me to be involved in this fight and to have been able to fight for my marriage and live up to my commitments to my husband,” Obergefell responded. That’s just wrong. And right after the Supreme Court decision, you had Kim Davis in Kentucky and the state of Alabama fighting against it. It actually surprises people when I have speaking engagements, they’ll tell me, When you’re done you can go, we’ll sneak you out a side door, and my response is always, Absolutely not.

Arthur died of the disease three months later, and Obergefell sued to be listed on the death certificate as Arthur’s husband. I was passionate about the case and knew its importance to the LGBTQ community, but I hadn’t recognized myself to be a part of it.

That usually means finding a crisis. There’s so much more to do. A judge granted a temporary restraining order, forcing Ohio to do so, and later issuing a final ruling recognizing the validity of their Maryland marriage certificate. One of the main problems we need to fix in the courts is this religious exception that Jim brought up. “I still remember the complete and utter sense of celebration and joy on the plaza outside the courthouse,” he says now.

When I met Jim and John, I told them I could file for a temporary restraining order recognizing the marriage on John’s death certificate, so he could have peace of mind from knowing it would say they were married and that Jim was his official husband. It gave me hope that, even with these awful feelings happening around me, I had a path to growing up to become a real person—I didn’t have to hide who I was.

Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. 644 (2015) (/ ˈ oʊ b ər ɡ ə f ɛ l / OH-bər-gə-fel), is a landmark civil rights case in which the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that the fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples by both the Due Process Clause and the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. I have to admit that that day at the Supreme Court was the first day I felt as an out gay man I was an equal American, but there was an asterisk with that feeling—I still knew that I wasn’t fully equal. Jim Obergefell holds a photo of him and his late husband, John Arthur, in his condo in Cincinnati.

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